The Breakup Boys

SO, since I seem to be going on a little theme here, I thought I would introduce you to the significant breakups and relationships in my life.

I'll try to go in order.

First significant relationship: Let's call him Black Eye Boy, or BEB.
Dated in high school all of senior year. Kept "talking" to him until sophomore year of college. I tried to lose my virginity to him, and coaxed him into the tip game a couple of times....to no avail.
Famous for: the black eye, and for saying that he never had any feelings for me...or any emotion at all towards me. Ouch. Religious freak saving himself for marriage.
Now he's married and just moved to LA with his wife.

Second: Let's call him Social Retard. That's what all of my friends called him.
Started dating junior year of college. He's an architect in my hometown. From a small town. Never could remember any of my friends names. Wrote me cheesy, misspelled poems. Dated for over three years.
Famous for: Most all of the quotes from post #1. My mom cried harder than I did when we broke up. He's a little socially awkward. Religious when it was convenient.
Dating a really cute girl and lives in my hometown. His sister is getting married on New Years and I am sad...she was awesome and I got to know her when she and her fiance first started dating.

Third: Let's call him HC. Some of you know the meaning behind this and I will leave it at that. Feel free to assume whatever you'd like to assume here. Met through a friend. From the same hometown, but lives in LA and is a lawyer. Took me to his law school "prom."
Famous for: Texting me, saying nice things but acting like we weren't together, HC, and the Pretty Woman hotel. Had a crazy religious sister that lived in a different room in his apartment. Trouble.
Started texting me again and lives alone now. He's considering moving back to my hometown.

Fourth: One of my friends affectionately calls him Insecure Boy. He's my latest, most tragic mistake. I'll tell the story later. He's a writer and went to my high school. We weren't friends, but I knew who he was. He's a little bit delusional...he thinks that I was super popular in high school and is bitter that he wasn't the coolest kid in school. I was a nice girl in high school and still am and don't know why he's so weird about it.
Famous for: The kiss rating system, tailgating, and the fucktard vs. fuckstick debate.