Fake Dating 101: Lessons in Tragic Love

Since I enrolled in a class that I was totally not prepared for in terms of emotional commitment, I needed to step back and really pay attention in class. It was fate that made me part of this Friends-type roommate situation.

Maybe I shouldn't be in this class? Or maybe I should take a once a week class. Is there an accelerated version?

One thing's for sure. This isn't a bird course. I can't fly right through it. Well, not that it's not easy. This class is super convenient. And you shouldn't ever do anything just because it's convenient (except for carpooling because that is good for the environment). You have to have some sort of other motivation and interest in any course for it to be worth it.

What most people think is that I just have the crush because I live with him.

I thought that too. So, I started trying out other extracurricular activities (aka dating other people). I am totally not interested in anyone else. I really, truly don't think that I have the patience for any other men right now. You'd think that because I live with him that I would get annoyed at all of the weird quirks he has. I don't.

Lesson #1: When POI invites you out with his friends, definitely go (most of the time).

POI invites me to hang out with his friends all of the time. I go most of the time. I usually decide to go at the last minute so as not to pretend like I am constantly relying on him for plans. If I don't go, he always tells me his friends asked about me.

When I do go on these fake-dates, he always drives. I hate driving and I suck at it. He drives and we chat. We pick up food together, we ride together, but when we get where we are going, I am never needy. I make new friends. I laugh a lot. I have a genuinely good time.

When we were coming home from a party, he said, "That's what I love about you. You can make friends with anyone, you don't complain and I didn't have to entertain you the entire night."

Lesson #2: When POI compliments what you are wearing, always tell him it is just what you had to wear for work.

"That color of dress looks great on you, with your new color hair. I like the dark hair." (I know, I know, I dyed my hair AGAIN.)

I decided that even though I work in a casual office, that I should dress up every day. Every day can be a day where I come home to a compliment like that! This can backfire though, if the POI has plans on that specific day, you can wear whatever you want to wear.

Stay tuned for more tragic adventures in fake dating...although I might take a break to tell some other stories in between.

Fake Dating 101: Pre-reqs

I recently enrolled in a course I didn't even know I was taking. Scratch that, I didn't even know it existed.

I didn't even realize how out-of-control this whole thing had gotten until I looked back on the past few months. Here I am, loving where I live, possibly because I like my roommate so much. I don't know when exactly enrolled in this course, but here are the pre-requisites:

1. Hang out with your POI (person-of-interest) more than 4 times a week.
2. Have several things in common with the POI.
3. Have a sexual barrier in your life. Same goes for the POI.

1. So, Jim and I hang out all of the time.

When I first moved in, he wasn't around as much. He was out of town quite a bit, and when he was home, he mostly hung out in his room. I don't blame him, he didn't know me at all when I first moved into The Beach House.

The third weekend after I called The Beach House my home, Kim came in town. She drove up in her rental car and we hung out at my place with another high school friend and then we treated ourselves to dinner. Jim was about to go to a birthday party and I'm kinda into cards, so I gave him one for the birthday girl (I am one of those people who has a stash of Hallmark cards for EVERY occasion and they are organized by event).

We were sitting around having cocktails when he had to leave and he kept on saying that he didn't want to go because he was having so much fun hanging out with us. When Kim and I got home from dinner, we plopped on the couch and put in a movie...ten minutes later, Kim was asleep on the couch. Jim came home about 20 minutes later and we ended up talking until the wee hours of the morning. He told me about his divorce and we talked about life and how funny it can be sometimes.

When I woke up in the morning and Kim and I went to breakfast, she looked straight at me and said, "You can't have a crush on him, Clumsy. I know you do."

Shit, she can sure read me like a book.

Now, it's one of those things where it's almost unspoken. He worries when I am not home at a reasonable hour and I worry when he's not home. We sit on the couch, watch TV or a movie and talk, just about every work night. In the morning, I get ready for a run while he makes breakfast. He invites me out with his friends, I introduce him to mine. It's complicated in that respect.

2. We like the same TV shows. We laugh at the same, corny jokes. We are both too nice, but are working on being a little more assertive. We are both givers. We share the same shower, and we have his and her sides to it.

We both love music and play musical instruments. He's a drummer and I play the piano. And I've heard him sing, and it made me like him even more.

We share the same morals. We share the same taste in books. I just wish we shared a bed...

3. After the Insecure Boy incident and several terrible dates, I decided in February I was going to be abstinent for a year. I have had too many complications with sex and relationships and decided I need to start dating without even thinking about taking it to bed.

After Jim's divorce, he went through a rebound phase that lasted a little over two years. During this time, he bounced from one intense relationship to another. From what he's told me, lots of sex, lots of emotions, and it was a disaster. When his therapist told him he should take a break from it all, he decided that was a good idea. So, he's not dating for a year...and well, trying to save himself for marriage...

I will fill you in on all of the coursework and homework soon....

Ba-da-bing....Ba-da-boom

I fell off the face of the earth.


It hasn't been that fun...but here's the abbreviated scoop:

I became a quasi-vegetarian (I eat fish).

Kim is moving to the West Coast.

I never see my friends in the city...it's super depressing.

I work all the time and now have a phone that keeps me at it until midnight at night.

Every day is a date (when you have a crush on your roommate).

I am no longer speaking to Insecure Boy, but I am not sure he knows about this.

I might be going to Hawaii and will see the socially slow ex.

I am going on a date with a man 17 years my senior.

I am also going to try and start blogging again on a regular basis.

But I've missed you, OH, how I've missed you!