New Year in the Nude

Okay, so enough with me trying to write a bunch of things I should try and do this year to change my life. I am going to start small.

My new underwear says it all, right on the behind.

I am going to believe in my bottom. I will overcome my fear of my bleg (butt/leg coined by HC) and face the new year with a new attitude.

I will not be as awkward.

Especially on dates.

I won't talk too much when I am trying to impress someone. Who do I really need to impress? (Okay, I'll just put it all in my blog? And hope some of you actually read and like it?)

I will not be as uncomfortable naked. (Thank God I am working out at a gym these days)

I will not freak out if someone sees my naked behind. (Actually, I will, but I really need to work on this in relationships.)

I will not immediately point out my faults to people. (Even if I think it's funny)

I will not use self tanner before important events like New Years and weddings. Or if I think I might get laid.*

No more home waxing kits! (AHHHHHH! I need to heed the advice of a professional!)

And most importantly, I will wear cute underwear! Not just in case someone will see it, but for myself! I think the best way to feel better about myself is crackin' up about what's hidin' my crack.


* When Social Retard and I were dating long distance, I went to get spray tanned.
Spray Tanner: What are you getting tanned for?
Clumsy: Oh, my boyfriend is coming in town tonight.
Spray Tanner: Well, wait at least eight hours and then shower. Otherwise, after you have sex, it looks like shit on the sheets.
Clumsy: Shit. He gets in town in two hours. Geez I have terrible timing.