The day after the kiss.
I wake up at the crack of dawn. I couldn't sleep. I am so giddy. So, I make good on the promise I had made Chad's girlfriend. I told her I would make her pancakes since she had to get up early to go to an appointment.
So, I do.
I make pancakes early in the morning. This gives me some time to think about things (aka panic attack ensues) and rationally decide what will happen. How am I going to act around him? Will we talk about this? Is he even ready for this? He made a pact that he isn't dating for a year...does he really like me?
Okay, in case you didn't notice. I am a total girl. Insert stereotype here.
Chad's gf wakes up and eats some pancakes. Then, Jim comes down from his room. He eats some pancakes. We hang out a little in the morning. I go for a run. He runs errands. We take pictures of some items around the house for a project for his big trip. I mention I think I bruised my back. He apologizes. Oh yeah, being pressed up against the balcony and the kitchen counter...
I pack for Kim's house. We are doing a little high school get-together with some of our friends down at her new place. I leave.
Kim's party turns out to be a little more wild than originally planned and I end up spending the night at her house. I promised Jim I would take him to his drop-off point in the morning so I wake up at 6am to drive home from Kim's. I shower, get ready (to go straight to a bridal shower at noon), pick up breakfast at McD's grab Jim.
I drop him and another trip-goer off and say farewell. I give him a big hug and we joke about the Silver Man.
After the shower, I head to the mall, then back home to take a nap on the couch. At 9pm, I wake up and go into my room.
It is there I see the Silver Man, hanging onto my headboard for dear life. He didn't take it on his trip.
I cry.
Then, I check my email.
Hey Clumsybear,
It felt really great but...I feel really guilty about...
I am not ready....
I care about you but....
You've become such a great friend...
I don't trust my own feelings...
I wanted to say sorry before I left....
-Jim
That was the gist of it. I am a sunken soul.
I call Daphne and cry a little more. I write my too-nice, sell-out reply back:
Jim,
I feel guilty that you feel guilty...
I liked making out but wouldn't want you to do anything you didn't feel okay about...
Yada Yada Yada. I'm a sell-out....etc.
-Clumsybear
The Silver Man sits on my dresser, head hung low.
5 comments:
Aw, darlin!
Although, you should totally call him on his shit for doing it in an e-mail.
I'm still hopeful.
Ugh no! That's the worst, the email cop out. I'll maintain hope until you tell us to drop the torch.
The email was sent just before his trip and he did apologize for it being in an email...but don't drop the torch just yet...
...against my better judgment, I haven't dropped it either.
I just caught up. Wow! Is he back? I still think there's hope too. Must. Get. Updates. lol
Oh no! I wanted something else. But on the other hand, he'll be gone for a while, so there's plenty of time for this to resolve itself. It's okay to be girly about it, too. It's normal.
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