Clumsy Does Balboa

So, in order for me (Clumsy) to gather my thoughts for the next few posts (which should be interesting), I asked for the help of my good ole troublesome friend, Kim, to post for me.  This took place on the Friday evening before Jim arrived back in town.

************************

I have this box. No, not that box, it’s a comfort zone box. It’s not super small, but I don’t like to jump out of it often. Clumsy has been asking for a guest blogger for quite some time, and after hearing that I have a fan base (don’t let me down people), I couldn’t decline the invitation.

It’s Sunday evening, I just finished sailing lessons after a morning filled with laundry and another attempt to finish LAST MONTH’s book club book. I poured myself a glass of champagne, pulled out the chips & salsa and, kids, it’s what’s for dinner!

I was inspired in this moment, thinking about how great it is to be single. I got to wake up this morning, plan my day as I like and polish it off with a glass ‘o bubbly. My “man”, we’ll call him Timbo, eats two steaks when we grill. He lives on meat and potatoes. He’s a dude. But, he wouldn’t be down for chips & salsa and champagne. So, tonight, with my Timbo 3,000 (okay, 2,996) miles, I ask myself the question, what’s the harm in being single?

Then again, my options are limited. OLD MEN LOVE ME. Clumsy came to town on Friday. We polished off 3 bottles (yup, read that again…3) of wine AND THEN went out. We wore matching outfits, this we figured out on the walk to the bar. We were raring to see what the night had in store.

I live in this very quaint little neighborhood. There are a few young professional ladies like myself, and lots of sea dogs and even more retirees. The flowers are the size of your face and it’s lovely for a quiet night on the patio, but meeting eligible bachelors, not so much! Friday was going to be different.

This bar, they call the Village Idiot, is the only place for cocktails on the Island. We’ve met several nice old men who promise to take me on their sail boat to teach me how to handle the big guns, yes, this I fall for. They call, they stalk, they are not welcome! Then, we meet Dan the man. He’s relatively young, tall dark and handsome…and taken. No, as far as we know he’s not married or dating, but he has a following.

Clumsy and I keep chatting with this group of fellas, enjoying ourselves, when Blondie the Bimbo walks in. She tells Dan the man that she’s in love with him and he’s welcome any time. She’s not a catch, understand?

He tosses $40 on the bar and runs. His buds though, don’t leave without an empty sailing promise and my number. Sigh.

Old.men.love.me. So I ask you, to be single or not be single. That’s my question.