Want a glass of wine?

I have learned that those five words are some of the best words I hear from the faux beau.  It usually means he wants to hang out and watch a movie with me.  Just me.  Me and nobody else.

I really like that.

It started out as a pretty eventful Saturday.  I went to get my hair done at the best place I have ever let lay a hand on my strands.  I have this Japanese stylist who only says a few things to me for the two hours I am there.  

Stylist: "Darker?"

Clumsy: "Yes, please."

Stylist: "Massage?"

Clumsy: "Yes, please."

She literally gives me a free massage with my color.  She never tries to sell me anything and she sits there and massages not only my head, but my shoulders and neck too.  It is the best money I have ever spent at the stylist.  Seriously.

I feel only slightly guilty that I am cheating on my stylist from my hometown.  I haven't been back home in a while and last time she dyed my hair so blonde, it was as dry and damaged as a haystack sitting on my head.

After the stylist, I went to Marshall's where I bought myself a dress and some soft, white towels. Maybe the purity of the white towels will make my roommate who shares a shower with me fall in love with me.  Holy crap, I am really this screwed up in the head.  I think of stuff like this and then blog about it.

Then, I went to the Ole Boss's house to clean up his disaster of an office for a few hours.  I couldn't wait to get home and relax.  It was my first weekend in over a month that I didn't have guests and wasn't traveling.  Then, I got a text from a quasi-friend (who knows Jim...and probably has a crush on him), asking what I was doing.

Quasi-friend:  "We're at the beach near your house, want to join us?"

Clumsy:  "Sorry, at work.  Have fun!"

Quasi-friend:  "At work on a Saturday?  That sucks.  You should come meet us for a drink after you are done."

Clumsy:  "Pretty tired, but I might be up for that.  I'll let you know." (aka nope, not gonna be doing that)

After I arrive home, unpack my new purchases, swing my newly dyed hair while staring at myself in the mirror, I get another text.

Quasi-friend:  "We're on our way to dinner and noticed your car is back.  Come join us!"

Wow.  Thanks for the guilt trip.  Be right there, stalker.

It's one of those friends that I get along with fine, but don't ever really hang out with unless I am in a group.  She's a little awkward and so is her friend, Quasi-Awkward.  Quasi-friend keeps on asking me to hang out with her and I am always busy.  I finally feel like I have to go so that she stops asking me to hang out (and stops walking by my house to see if I am home).

I see Jim on my way to dinner.

"Your hair looks great!"

"Thanks!"

"Where are you off to?"

"Dinner with Quasi-Friend and Quasi-Awkward...even though I am exhausted and all I want is a glass of wine..."

"Oh...man, that's a tough crowd.  I am going to go sit on the couch and watch a movie."

"Don't rub it in..."

I arrive at dinner to a full pitcher of margaritas and two giggling awkward girls who want me around to entertain them.  If I didn't speak, this would be the most uncomfortable dinner ever, but I am the Clumsy Chatterbox and I delivered.

I decide to drink most of the pitcher of margaritas because I don't want these girls thinking they can hang out/sober up at my place afterwards.  I had flirting to do later and didn't need any quasi-competition.

"I don't know if I can drive..."

"Two margaritas will do that to you? Let's go get coffee and I will walk you to your car.  I am pretty tired."

"Could we grab a glass of water at your place beforehand?"

"Sure."

Jim says hi to them, we hand them waters and I literally try walking towards the door.  They finally take the hint and I leave.

Jim: "Want a glass of wine?"

Clumsy: "Yes, please."

Jim:  "Good, I already poured one for you when I heard you coming up the stairs."

Clumsy: "You rock."

We start flipping channels and he stops on What Women Want...we totally watch it.  Two bottles of wine later, we find our conversation leaning to the more sexual topics.  Somewhere in the middle of all this, when he's pouring me another glass of wine, he turns out all of the lights in the apartment.  

We're sitting in the dark.  Just us.  Watching a chick flick.  Talking about sex.  Sitting on the same couch.

Clumsy:  "I love going to the salon, my hair always feels so soft."

Jim:  "Can I feel it?"

Clumsy:  "Yeah...sure."

Jim:  "Wow.  One more time."  (Yep, he went back for seconds.)

We continue our conversation flirting and continue to watch movies in the dark.  I have no idea what time it is at this point.  It was when we got on the subject of my sex drive and the fact I'm a Scorpio and well, fit the profile, that I could tell we were both thinking about making out.

Jim: "Maybe I shouldn't be sitting this close."

Clumsy:  "Haha. Maybe you're right."

Jim:  "I have to get up really early tomorrow.  It's almost 3am."

Clumsy:  "3am?  It's really that late?"

Jim:  "Time flies when you're having fun.  Goodnight."

Clumsy: "Goodnight."

Sigh.  

I like him so much.