Paddy-cake, Paddy-cake, Baker's Man...

Dating is awkward.

Unless you're not awkward.

But I'm The Clumsy Chatterbox, and I'm awkward. Awkward, clumsy, and single.

I keep in touch with a lot of people from high school. The Sparkles, Insecure Boy, some other high school boys. If you're random and from my high school, we probably have kept in touch via facebook or something. I'm weird like that. And I was friends with everyone.

A high school friend and his wife came in town two weekends ago. They invited me out on the town and I met up with them. It was a mini-high school reunion and I saw several peeps I hadn't seen in a while. It was a lot of fun catching up with them. It was also pretty obvious they were excited to introduce me to one of their friends. One of their friends....aka...the Ridiculously good-looking guy (RGLG) I went on a date with over the weekend.

I play it cool for a while. Uninterested, hard-to-get, smart and witty. It usually lasts for a few hours before people catch on and realize what a total cheeseball I am. So, here I am, flirting with RGLG and I have all of my high school guy friends surrounding me, so I almost look cool. The perfect place for SUAVE Clumsy. SUAVE Clumsy only gets to make an appearance on very special occasions.

SUAVE Clumsy made an exit just around bar-closing time. RGLG asks if I am going home or coming to after hours at his friends' place. I say I am going home (I go to great lengths to sleep in my own bed) and he says, "So nice to meet you. Looking forward to dinner on Sunday." (We are all supposed to go out to dinner in a big group)

He puts up his hands like he is about to give me two high-fives. I high-five him, but he doesn't put his hands down. So, I kinda slap them again. Then, he kinda intertwines our fingers, I get confused, and he ends up shaking my hands up and down. Picture the body-shake scene from JUST FRIENDS, and you will totally know how awkward this was.

What's even more awkward is that I ended up on a date with him on Friday in which the following events took place:

1. A double-date with a 5th wheel. An engaged couple and RGLG's 22 year-old friend who drove us to the sushi restaurant and tagged along all night.

2. We went to a sushi restaurant in which the chef got drunk with us. Then, he and 22-year-old cracked eggs and put them in their beers and chugged them. Then, they put a whole egg in their mouth, chewed, swallowed and spit out the shell. No joke.

3. RGLG arrives at my place, calls me and tells me to come down to the car. His friend is driving. He doesn't get out of the car or open my door so I shake the friend's hand and get in the car.

4. The other couple tells a story at dinner that involved my date "boning a chick on the top deck while at Semester-at-Sea."

5. RGLG telling me about his ex who is an Olympic horse-back rider.

6. RGLG making me guess how many times he's been arrested. It was more than my guess of four times.

7. RGLG rode a unicycle.

8. The sushi chef thought I was dating the 22 year-old. I secretly wished I was too! He stole the show in story-telling.

9. When I got in the car at the beginning of the night, RGLG said, "You look really nice." and then his friend chimed in..."Yeah, you do look really nice!"

10. Insecure Boy's best friend saw us getting food, came over to say hi! and asked if he was one of my new roommates.

Don't know if Paddy-cake or the entire date was more awkward.

Needless to say, I totally sucked face with him. I mean, when else can I say, "Remember when I made out with the ridiculously hot dude?

And at least I now know why he's single.